Last Letter To Windows

It had been a while and my urge to ogle my thoughts was constantly being submerged deep inside, lately, thanks to my work. Though it was highly unlikely of me to make it do so, I couldn’t but yield to the pressure. How!ever, I have a new laptop to show-off with Windows 7 and I am so unhappy ! It is, thus, not the work pressure who wins but my urge to “gossip” about the short comings of the Windows 7. Gossip ? Did I just mention gossip ?!! Well, can’t help it, for, a man just out of his painful miseries of the work pressure being awarded Microsoft’s yet another master piece, cannot but gossip on the blog and pen down his frustration and chose to write a letter to my laptop.



Dear Laptop,

Over the years of my adolescent affairs with the likes in your community, I’ve turned out to be a mature and affectionate lover. I’ve learnt take a good care of my baby and now that I am married to my wife of course , I have also been successful in two timing as well !

I also understand that a relationship comes out to be a success only when one overlooks flaws, which in your context can be termed as defects/bug but even as I write this letter to you, I fight a battle inside me. I am particularly sure about what your intentions are and more so, I am aware that you purely wish to keep me happy but in turn you over look that keeping me happy isn’t just something I expect.

To explain further, let me bring up idea of mind body and intellect. You are beautiful, smooth and voluptuous ! Michael Dell and his folks did a great job I must say on your body. I, especially, likes the round eye right at the top which makes my family see me better. They praise your cute ears and I, your excellent voice.

You have an excellent memory, I couldn’t identify the creator yet, but so far, I am loving it. 500 gigs isn’t joke for sure ! I remember my first girlfriend with just 256 Megs of memory, she was so short lived, though my friends were very fond of her ! Believe, you, me, I still miss my days with her. I couldn’t get over her for days ! I cannot even imagine her existence now in your era.

Though it is practically impossible to bring her back, she had a heart of gold. She had DOS 6.0. Her intellect was rock solid and I loved her. You on the other hand are Windows 7. Though at least your intellect is better than few of my friend’s girl with Vista, it still does not make you different.

Look at you, I mean, I cannot upgrade you directly from XP ! How’s that, your desktop is so confusing ! So many options and I am virtually no where without internet ! The windows explorer is going bad to worse, I just cannot understand what you are trying to put up for me ! My dearest lady, I wish you understand that it is not just the outward appearance that is of matter, but also what you hold inside and such finer points, like consuming “my” memory so much that everything comes to halt ! I wonder if the Gates foundation would bless us with a new baby any sooner.

You may wonder why have I become so critical of you, but now that this chapter is opened before us, I’d like to confess I have an affair. I am in love with your neighbor Ubuntu 9.10. She’s really fast and very hot you know. Though I give due credits to the social websites like Facebook for introducing Ubuntu to me last year, we soon became close buddies and I also got a free CD to bring her home, but I did not have resources. But now, I do, I have re-established my relationship with Ubuntu and we are deeply in love.

Like every one else, she has her problems, who doesn’t have it, but she does not impose herself on me like you do. Her father does not force me to do anything, like your daddy does. I can totally control her and unlike with you I do not even have a sense on insecurity that someone, rather something in this case, will take over you.

I would also like to bring it to your notice that she has powerful friends around the world and most of all SHE IS FREE ! I really had a good time with you, however this has to end here and I don’t think I will ever come back to you.

I hope you will understand.

Not yours anymore,

Shrikant Ubuntu Shelat.

p.s. The only good thing about Window’7 is Live Writer ! 😉


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