10 Steps to Glory


Heartbreak, tears, sulky eyes and a plastic smile. Most likely you’ve broken up and chances are you think it is the end of this world for you and start believing you cannot survive any more. It may also occur to your mind, if you are a female, that all men are dogs and just in case you are a male, you’d start thinking you cannot “adjust” with any other woman on earth even if it were Megan Fox. Leave dogs and foxes behind, I am proposing a theory of how to get out of break up blues.

Assuming the break-up wasn’t a result of old-news 377 being dropped by the Delhi HC, you are most likely to meet a girl/guy of your “choice” again, thus, Step 1: Stop crying, even if you are dumped/ditched. Cheap thoughts may come to your mind, which may be anti-social, harmful to you/society, for e.g. I am going to kill him for doing this to me or I wish her boy friend comes out to be a Gay, but just never mind and let it subside. Thus Step 2: Control your anger and adrenaline, for you might just end up losing prospects, if you think you really need one.

If you-know-what was were merely for reasons like forwarding more than necessary swine-flu prevention emails or mocking 377 cartoons, you might want to re-think your decisions, for its ok not to break-up for petty reasons, just exposing him/her to swine flu might work, break-ups aren’t pretty.

There is no harm is getting along people very next day and the guilt, if develops, “should” be subsided, for it does not matter for the other whom are you with now and even if it does, do it all the more. It’d increase your chances to get back again ( If you wish, that is.) Thus, Step 3: Know that you want to get back together for sure. It may take some time to analyze the situation, but keep your rationale and intellect in place to think about the event that happened. If you regret or have a slightest of doubt and the ball is in your court, be ready to give a benefit of doubt. However accept that sometimes, situations aren’t in our hands and life can take an unfortunate turn. It surely does not mean that you can not survive without your beau. Thus, Step 4: Believe that you are begin a new life, accept the change/void.

It may not be your fault, it may be, but if your tries exhaust, and you have accepted that you are back to being single, understand that its not a crime. You are close to 40% of people in India and it is not definitely not shameful. For once, even if you believe that you are being looked down to, out of pity, understand, that only few of them are concernded. Condolences will flow from every where, thus, Step 5: Do not accept any condolences, they are for losers. This step is second most important step in the How-to-get-out-of-heartbreak-blues lesson.

I’ve always hated Mukesh (Please pardon me Sir.) for singing sad love songs. Pain is beautiful and does get addictive at times and cannot be more scary when one start enjoying the pain. Thus, Step: 6 Do not listen to any slow, soothing or sad songs instead choose growling rock songs, even if you think they are shouting for no reason, for when you break up, you are more likely to sing better than you would generally do. To build a fortress is a biggest mistake people make on such/similar unfortunate events.

Inhibitions, in such times aren’t cute. In most of such practically sad situations, fortress are most unfortunate things, especially, when its a time to be called “Khulla Sandh” or “Khulli..” whatever women would like to call themselves and depriving oneself of happiness of being single. Ask any married man if ever he dis-allowed his wife to visiting her parents. Thus, Step: 7 Form a gang of same sex friends. No, not for future prospects, but for you are most comfortable with friends of same sex, and chances are you are going to start enjoying your life again.

You may have not spat out your grievances yet. Though, if you are amongst those who have been living a private life, and are hesitant, best thing to do is SMS or Text Chat with someone you think has good patience to hear your tale. Thus, Step: 8 Find someone mature to talk to every time you think you need to speak something. It always has helped to talk your heart out. Ironically, it happens so that one is more comfortable with people who aren’t right before their eyes or if they are in person, they are not so close.

There are times when people do not find people to talk to, in such cases, Diaries, not books, are Man’s best friend and thus, Step: 9 Pen down your frustrations. You never know what were others missing so far and you may come up with some of the best Love Stories or Poetry so far and even if your poetry is miserably bad, it only means that you are a bad poet or a writer, but there is still a ray of light, there are people in the world who will like your work in any case, for if they can enjoy my poetry, they can like anything.

Finally, (what a word, I’ve always loved it) once you are done with Steps 1-9, all you need to do is stop limiting yourself to love stories and poems, and stop thinking that the void cannot be filled, for it just did for me. Thus the most important one, Step: 10 Break Free..!

Disclaimer: The Author is an experienced, happily married person. The above mentioned tricks are tested and worked well practically on Humans. Yet if you are a cynical and you think you want to end your life, please visit a psychiatrist immediately, others can very well follow these. Also, please note that the above steps hold true only once the reader (if in need ) has tried as much he/she wants.

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