Its a war. A new battle everyday, that I feel inside me. Anything new I notice, seems on one hand favourable, and destructive on the other. Its a war between mind and intellect. Battles between life and bread, battles between goal and wants, between ideal and practical. Seems like I am standing in the middle of war field and standing numb hearing the cries.
Not long ago from today, I started feeling a need of a friend. I forgot about books, I forgot about songs I sing, I forgot about my poetries. I walk on a lonely road in the deep darkness of night. Just as a blink, in a flash of a moment, it struck me to lead a loner life for I started feeling a sense of everything being temporary. It is nothing that is permanent. I ran into a battle between my want and goal. It was like an intellect denying a need of companion but mind summoned one.
Today, I am on a verge of flying high in life, about to begin my golden career. There seems nothing stopping me today, nothing to look back at. There cannot be better situation than not leaving anything behind. But, it is the cries that are holding me back. It is like I am leaving behind my goal. My horizon that I wanted to reach. Running after bread leaving behind life, is what I feel I am doing today. There seems no end to this.
Its a feeling that is cropping up today which says activists are against development. A simple example of a foreign companies shattering business of some Indian firms, but in turn give a better product or service to the mass. Should I think about few people losing their bread or many more who will survive after the entry of new sharks? With activists denying their entry, I wonder who is at loss? Who is the real one to blame?
It is my favorite word, perception. Like I always say it is a matter of perception, but if the perception still is alive. I have lost my vision. As I sit by my window writing my heart out, it all seems so hazy. I am waiting for the fog to go away.