Complete-ness…



It had been about an year working with Infosys and forwarding mails was still a trend as gossiping. Not-so-surprisingly I too had fallen prey to this trend recieving about a couple of baker’s dozens. Some asked me forward it to 10 people else I’d have bad luck for 10 years while some asking for my blood,for a child in Chennai. Some funny, some not-quite-so-funny. I knew her through such mails. Though I dont remember which mail, not that i’ve seen her face ever, nor I remember what I told her first.

I’d always walk alone, sing solo-es, dance as if no one’s watching, never needed a person, to walk along, to sing duets or have a ball. Like foot steps being washed away by the sea, so are like my memories of completeness. I remember times when I felt complete, but like a tide, it was momentary. Every day I woke up, to see a new day, filled with joy I geting ready to face the new life, begining with this new day, and daily I return back home, disappointed, for not living my life. I sought for completeness, I sought for life. Like a fresh flowers in the vase, at the end of the day, I felt dull, kneeling down before life, exhausted.

Not that we’ve seen each other, Rhea, always felt the same about what I felt for her. Though not seen her, did I ever question her feelings ? How could I share my every weakness and fears with her ? It was as if talking to “Dear Diary”. Talking to myself, getting answers from myself. The feeling, I developed with time, for her, was un-explainable. The answers to my horizon-like questions, seemed so simple, the way she put it.

The goal of my life was defined, but I started to define it for her. I could answer all her questions, and imagined her convinced face everytime I did so. My imagination, grew stronger everyday, and I could see her everyday. Suddenly the feeling of incompleteness was lost. Some time back experienced a feeling of lost, incomplete, lonliness, now, it was different. Seems like a low tide, and waters have retracted farther, to make some footsteps on the sand. I see another pair next to mine.

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